Hey y'all! I hope everyone had a GREAT day and felt TERRIFIC! This summer has gone by way too fast and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm headed to college in 2 weeks, that's so crazy. Since summer 2013 is coming to an end and since another year of my life is coming to a close tonight (today is my 18th birthday WOOHOO) I've been thinking back on some of the things I've done.  Tonight I want to share a little bit about a piece of heaven on earth called Camp Barnabas.  This summer I was extremely blessed to be able to serve as a counselor at this amazing camp in Purdy/Branson, Missouri.  Now Barnabas is a little different than most camps because all of the campers have some kind of special need, such as autism or down syndrome, and let me just tell you it was one of the hardest and most beautiful weeks of my life.  It challenged me in so many amazing ways and actually even lead me to what I want to do with my life, special education.  Isn't it crazy how the LORD works in our lives, even in ways we don't see it.  So basically, you arrive at camp a day early and get your cabin assignment and once you've grouped together you're given a handful of cards with campers names and their disability on them, and that's it.  So you pray over them and after a while you pick which camper you feel led to serve for the week.  I was blessed to get to serve an amazing young man with dubowitz syndrome, and he is simply the light of my life.  So in the next morning all CIAs (christians in action) go through staff training, and this is all leading up to the afternoon when the campers arrive and it is quite a festival.  The campers pull up in their cars and run through a tunnel of screaming people to their counselor with sheer joy (or terror, hehe) on their faces. I'm not gonna lie to you, when everyone first gets their camper, they are absolutely terrified because they are basically the parents of a child for an entire week and we don't know what to expect.  But the real parents are extremely grateful.  Serving my camper for only one week makes me so appreciative of the people who care for him 24/7 for an entire year, what incredible angels they are! The first thing I quickly learned from my camper is that I get too easily wrapped up in what others think of me, and this petty fear was rapidly ripped away from me.  I had to constantly make funny noises and do funny things to keep him entertained and I had to give up a lot of my pride by asking for help when I needed it.  The first day, it was hard.  But after spending a whole lot of time with the LORD and really searching my heart for what I needed to do to serve my camper this week, EVERYTHING changed.  For once in my life, for 5 straight days, not a single thought about me and my desires crossed my mind.  I'm not saying this to seem perfect, all the glory is to the LORD and I am so thankful that he took that sin from my life and showed me how beautiful life can be when I'm abiding in Him and serving as he serves me. As a 17 year old girl I can tell you that it is so easy to lack confidence when society tells us we should look and feel a certain way, but for this one short week the LORD took my hand and blatantly showed me that the confidence I so badly want comes from living for Him and only Him in me will make me who I want to be.  Now my camper was the chill master... he loved to lie down (he would put his hands behind his head and cross his legs, it was adorable and we called it his "signature move") and play with rocks.  This was frustrating at first because I wanted him to be involved in activities and do what the more able campers were doing. When I stopped and prayed for patience and wisdom in the situation, the LORD opened my eyes to a completely new way to look at life. My camper was always joyful, and it wasn't because he was always doing something fun or because he had something extravagant, it was simply because he had a ground to sit on and grass to feel.  How quickly do we tend to look over the small things and only look at the biggest and best thing possible.  It's so easy to just let little things slide without being thankful for them and after spending time with my camper, he showed me that I should be praising the LORD continually for having the ability to walk and talk and even breathe.  Joy isn't found in material and fleeting things if this world, it's found solely in Him! I'm sorry this post is so long, I could just go on and on about how this one amazing kid changed my entire outlook on my life here in this temporary home, but I'm wrapping it up, I promise! The real reason that I found my passion in serving special needs children is because of the fact that they live and love with no influence from other people and all the pressures and standards of this broken world.  It would be absolutely amazing to live just one day where we weren't altered or in any way influenced by what this world has come to.  Bottom line: I could never really understand what's true in this life until I saw it through these campers eyes.  The truly showed me the beauty of the LORD's unending love and grace.  Thinking about that week in June humbles me incredibly because I saw just how beautiful I was when I was "broken" according to earthly terms but whole in His sight!

... all the glory to Him

- His beloved

Good morning! Today has been a pretty crazy day but I wanted to take a few seconds to share this amazing poem-ish thing with y'all.  It's crazy true and so relatable, and it has gotten me through so many trials this past year!

"I Made Her Because I Love Her"

I made her...she is different. She is unique.
With love I formed her in her mother's womb.
I fashioned her with great joy.
I remember with great pleasure the day I created her.

I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh
And the silly things she says and does.
She brings me great pleasure. This is how I made her.

I made her pretty and not beautiful.
I wanted her to search out her heart and learn that
it would be ME in her that would make her beautiful...
And it would be Me that would draw others to her.

I made her in such a way that she would need me.

I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be...
Only because I need for her to learn and depend on Me.
I know her heart. I know that if I had not made her like this,
She would go her own chosen way
And forget Me...her Creator.

Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart...
and the tears she cried alone.
I have cried with her and had a broken heart too.

Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone...
Only because she would not hold my hand.
So many lessons she's learned the hard way
because she would not listen to My voice.

So many times I have sat back and sadly
watched her go her merry way alone...
Only to watch her return to my arms,
sad and broken.

And now she is Mine again.
I made her, and I bought her...
Because I love her.

I have to reshape and remold her
To renew her to what I planned for her to be
It has not been easy for her or for Me.

I want her to be conformed to My image.
This high goal I have set for her...

Because I love her.

What a beautiful picture of God's love for us.  This puts it in words that are easier to understand, almost like a love song!  Please share this with other people, my camp counselor gave it to me and I have kept it in my bible ever since.  I just want to leave you with one of my favorite go-to verses... Song of Solomon 4:7 "you are altogether beautiful my darling, there is no flaw in you"

 ... all the glory to Him

- his beloved

Titanyen, Haiti

During the month of July, I had the privilege of traveling to Haiti with Watermark Church.  We went through the organization, Mission of Hope, an amazing place with amazing people determined to see this beautiful country rise up.  Over this week we were blessed with the chance to get to know the hearts behind a lot of physical brokenness and also search our own hearts for what keeps us from abiding in the LORD in the "real world".  I'm sad to admit that going into this small week-long journey, my heart was not necessarily finding peace and worth in Him but my eyes were opened to so many beautiful truths throughout my trip!  For many people, the first thing that pops into their minds when they think about Haiti is the earth quake and how the country is impoverished, unsafe and simply broken.  Me, being human, I went into the week thinking that I was going to go help fix what was broken, after all, in my eyes, I live a pretty great life.  What I failed to see was that I was just basing my thoughts off of worldly and fleeting things.  Just because I have a place to call my home and a bed to sleep on doesn't make me any less broken than the Haitians who had no home due to the earthquake, and what I quickly realized is that I was the one who was actually broken. During village time one day, I was blessed to encounter a young man who was trying to learn english (the native language is creole) and I was asking him simple questions about himself and he was teaching me some words in creole.  After a while I asked him what he liked best about Haiti and he told me the only reason he can get through the day is the people's hearts.  In return, he asked me "Do the people where you're from have good hearts?" I paused for quite a while because I couldn't find the will to say yes.  The Haitians have beautiful hearts set on the LORD despite the earthquake and their government and their living conditions.  We have every worldly thing possible and yet our hearts are empty and broken and greedy.  In that moment the LORD showed me that I was the one who needed fixing spiritually.  In 1 Samuel 16:7 He reminds us that the Lord does not look at what we have, how we dress or where we live... he looks at the heart.  Throughout the week I was constantly reminded of how little I can do on my own without Him and how only in him will I be "fixed" and made perfect.  As I was walking through Titanyen one day, we came across and old man who was hunched over and walking with a cane.  He was singing praise songs in creole over and over so we took and translator and started a conversation with him.  His name was Ishmael and he was 144 YEARS OLD, talk about a great story.  This little man had lived through so much and even as he is nearing the end of his time here, he never stops glorifying the LORD.  What a perfect picture of a servant of Christ: unashamed and proclaiming his love for his heavenly father.  It reminded me so much of the song "Bless the Lord (10,000 reasons)" because the one lyric that played over and over in my head was, "and on that day when my strength is failing, the end draws near and my time has come, still my soul will sing your praise unending, 10,000 years and then forever more"! Haiti restored my desire to spend time with the LORD every day and live solely for Him.  The last night there as we were reflecting on what the Lord placed on our hearts that week the most beautiful heat lightning storm continually lit up the sky and it was such a great reminder of God's unending presence in our lives.  His love is unending, unfailing, unconditional and unfathomable.

Mission of Hope is a wonderful organization that helps over 69,000 people in Haiti!  Please check out their website and read more about the incredible things they are accomplishing, it's amazing! http://www.mohhaiti.org

... all the glory to him
- his beloved